Deadline: June 10.
The worst
betrayal of all.
It was
quite a sunny day and Andrew was sitting alone on a bench near a shore looking
at a picture reminiscing other times of life. He was waiting for a call from
his sister, and between looking at the landscape thinking of the old good days and
trying to suppress unpleasant memories of what had been a very long week, the
phone finally rang.
A: Hey sis, what’s up? Anything new about him?
F: Why are you always so mean? - She said quite angry- He’s
our father, don’t call him like that! By the way, where are you that you are
not here with us in the hospital? You should worry a little bit more! After all
he’s like this because of you!
She was calling
not only to remind him what had happened but also to explain why it was his
fault. Andrew’s pulse quickened at the very thought of this accusation, for it
was neither fair nor true.
A: What are you talking about? You don’t know what had happened, and you
don’t want to know. Our fight has nothing to do with him being in a coma now! If he is like that it is because of what he
has done. He deserves that! But I’m not going to argue about this with you.
Anyway, you’re right about one thing, I should be there with you, not for him,
but for you.
F: Well at least you care for someone besides yourself!
And how can you say that?! How can you sleep at night?! Don’t you think that
you and your rude way of treating him had led him to where he is now? By the
way, what do you mean by “what he has done”?
A: Don’t be so hard on me; you know I care for you! And
no, I don’t think so. He is like that because he couldn’t manage the situation.
And believe me, you really don’t want to know.
F: Yeah, I know, sorry about that, but I don’t
understand a word you are saying, please explain it to me! What are you trying
to let me know?
A: Are you sure you want to know? If I tell you there’s
no turning back.
F: Yes, please! You are driving me crazy! You say it’s
his fault, and I don’t get your point! Come on, stop messing around and tell
me, because I’m running out of patience!
A: Ok sis, chill out. Let me go there and I’ll explain
to you. I’m on my way.
On his way to the
hospital he realized it was almost twilight and the sky was turning blood –red.
Looking at the road, Andrew felt a breath of melancholy. He wished the minute
hand of the clock could be rewound. He and his father were so close before that
critical day.
Several minutes later, he arrived at the hospital, and
there was his sister, waiting for him, quite impatient. He confronted her,
feeling bad, like already knowing what was about to happen.
F: There you are! Come on, Tell me!
A: whoa whoa sis, slow down. You’d better sit – He said,
while trying to calm her down – Well, if you are so sure, here it goes.
You wanted me to explain why I treated him like this and
it’s because I’ve found out something he has done. I didn’t want you to know
‘cause I know how much you care for him and it would devastate you. But you
insisted, so you have to know that I caught him cheating on us! In fact, he has
another whole family! A wife, two daughters, and even a dog! Can you believe
it?! That’s why he and I had a fight, and he couldn’t handle it. Now you
understand why I say he deserves that? He deceived us! He’s is complete liar!
Her sister couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She
was astonished. She only stood there, sensing a deep anguish, bursting into
tears.
Enjoy the photos now!!



Hi class!!! This is my rewriting of the story :)
ResponderEliminarThe worst betrayal of all.
It was quite a sunny day and Andrew was sitting alone on a bench near a shore looking at a picture reminiscing other times of life. He was waiting for a call from his sister, and between looking at the landscape thinking of the old good days and trying to suppress unpleasant memories of what had been a very long week, the phone finally rang.
A: Hey sis, what’s up? Anything new about him?
F: Why are you always so mean? - She said quite angry- He’s our father, don’t call him like that! By the way, where are you that you are not here with us in the hospital? You should worry a little bit more! After all he’s like this because of you!
She was calling not only to remind him what had happened but also to explain why it was his fault. Andrew’s pulse quickened at the very thought of this accusation, for it was neither fair nor true.
A: What are you talking about? You don’t know what had happened, and you don’t want to know. Our fight has nothing to do with him being in a coma now! If he is like that it is because of what he has done. He deserves that! But I’m not going to argue about this with you. Anyway, you’re right about one thing, I should be there with you, not for him, but for you.
F: Well at least you care for someone besides yourself! And how can you say that?! How can you sleep at night?! Don’t you think that you and your rude way of treating him had led him to where he is now? By the way, what do you mean by “what he has done”?
A: Don’t be so hard on me; you know I care for you! And no, I don’t think so. He is like that because he couldn’t manage the situation. And believe me, you really don’t want to know.
F: Yeah, I know, sorry about that, but I don’t understand a word you are saying, please explain it to me! What are you trying to let me know?
A: Are you sure you want to know? If I tell you there’s no turning back.
F: Yes, please! You are driving me crazy! You say it’s his fault, and I don’t get your point! Come on, stop messing around and tell me, because I’m running out of patience!
A: Ok sis, chill out. Let me go there and I’ll explain to you. I’m on my way.
On his way to the hospital he realized it was almost twilight and the sky was turning blood –red. Looking at the road, Andrew felt a breath of melancholy. He wished the minute hand of the clock could be rewound. He and his father were so close before that critical day.
Several minutes later, he arrived at the hospital, and there was his sister, waiting for him, quite impatient. He confronted her, feeling bad, like already knowing what was about to happen.
F: There you are! Come on, Tell me!
ResponderEliminarA: whoa whoa sis, slow down. You’d better sit – He said, while trying to calm her down – Well, if you are so sure, here it goes.
You wanted me to explain why I treated him like this and it’s because I’ve found out something he has done. I didn’t want you to know ‘cause I know how much you care for him and it would devastate you. But you insisted, so you have to know that I caught him cheating on us! In fact, he has another whole family! A wife, two daughters, and even a dog! Can you believe it?! That’s why he and I had a fight, and he couldn’t handle it. Now you understand why I say he deserves that? He deceived us! He’s is complete liar!
But what they didn’t know was that their father’s lover has followed Andrew immediately after he had found out about them. She arrived at the hospital and approached the siblings.
A: What are you doing here? How you dare to show up like that?!
F: Andrew, do you know her?
LOVER: I’m your father’s wife!
And before they could utter a word, she added:
L: If you let me, I’ll explain the whole story. My family and I are as victims as you. If I had known he was a married man and with two kids, I’d have never allowed all these to happen. My kids are suffering too.
Andrew was out of his mind; he pulled himself together and just said to her:
A: if I were you, I wouldn’t even bother to appear at his funeral.
Her sister couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She was astonished. She only stood there, sensing a deep anguish, bursting into tears.
Task achieved!!
EliminarI had to split it into 2 parts because I exceeded the characters' limits.
ResponderEliminarSee you all tomorrow morning!!
The worst betrayal of all.
ResponderEliminarIt was quite a sunny day and Andrew was sitting alone on a bench near a shore looking at a picture reminiscing other times of life. He was waiting for a call from his sister, and between looking at the landscape thinking of the old good days and trying to suppress unpleasant memories of what had been a very long week, the phone finally rang.
A: Hey sis, what’s up? Anything new about him?
F: Why are you always so mean? - She said quite angry- He’s our father, don’t call him like that! By the way, where are you that you are not here with us in the hospital? You should worry a little bit more! After all he’s like this because of you! And mom doesn’t feel really good. She wants you to be here.
She was calling not only to remind him what had happened but also to explain why it was his fault. Andrew’s pulse quickened at the very thought of this accusation, for it was neither fair nor true.
A: What are you talking about? You don’t know what had happened, and you don’t want to know. Our fight has nothing to do with him being in a coma now! If he is like that it is because of what he has done to us, to mom. He deserves that! But I’m not going to argue about this with you. Anyway, you’re right about one thing, I should be there with you, not for him, but for you. I think that mom doesn’t deserve all this. She is a good person and loves him with all her life. He was not fair with her at the first place. If you were me, you would agree with me. (Type II)
F: Well at least you care for someone besides yourself! And how can you say that about our dad?! How can you sleep at night?! If you love us, come now. (Type I)Don’t you think that you and your rude way of treating him had led him to where he is now? By the way, what do you mean by “what he has done”?
A: Don’t be so hard on me; you know I care for both of you! And no, I don’t think so. He is like that because he couldn’t manage the situation. And believe me, you really don’t want to know.
F: Yeah, I know, sorry about that, but I don’t understand a word you are saying, please explain it to us! What are you trying to let us know? Speak!
A: Are you sure you want to know? If I tell you there’s no turning back.
F: Yes, please! You are driving me crazy! You say it’s his fault, and I don’t get your point! Come on, stop messing around and tell me, because I’m running out of patience! Mom wants to know too, she is really impatient and out of control. She deserves the true, just like me!!
A: Ok sis, chill out. Let me go there and I’ll explain to you. I’m on my way.
On his way to the hospital he realized it was almost twilight and the sky was turning blood –red. Looking at the road, Andrew felt a breath of melancholy. He wished the minute hand of the clock could be rewound. He and his father were so close before that critical day.
ResponderEliminarSeveral minutes later, he arrived at the hospital, and there was his sister and his mother, waiting for him, quite impatient. He confronted them, feeling bad, like already knowing what was about to happen.
F: There you are! Come on, tell us!
Mom: Please Andrew! Let me know what happened! Nobody helped us here… they didn’t give us any information. I want to know the true! You MUST tell me!!!
A: whoa whoa, slow down mom. Take it easy. You’d better sit – He said, while trying to calm her down – Well, if you are so sure, here it goes.
M: Of course I’m sure! He is my husband, my partner for 20 years! My best friend…everything!!! Slip it out, now!
A: You wanted me to explain why I treated him like this and it’s because I’ve found out something he has done. I didn’t want you to know ‘cause I know how much you care for him and it would devastate you. But you insisted, so you have to know that I caught him cheating on us! In fact, he has another whole family! A wife, two daughters, and even a dog! Can you believe it?! That’s why he and I had a fight, and he couldn’t handle it. If he had been honest from the beginning, all this would have never happened! (Type III) Now you understand why I say he deserves that? He deceived us! He’s is complete liar!
M: What?! Did you lose your mind?! Are you crazy? I can’t believe it! This wouldn’t be true! (Crying, and desperate. She starts to have a pain in her heart, and passes out)
F: Mom!! Mom!!! What is happening!? Mom, listen to me! (Grabbing and shacking her) Look what you’ve done!!!! (screaming to her brother) You are going to kill all of us! Are you crazy?!? Go away!!! You are a liar, we don’t believe you! Because of you, I’m going to lose my parents! I hate you!! Go away, go!!!!
Andrew left the hospital alone, and his sister stayed crying next to his mother’s dead body. They never talked to each other again. And Flo never believe the story his brother told them. When their father recovered, they went to live in the country until he died at the age of 60. She was always next to him, until his last days.
Task achieved!!
EliminarThe worst betrayal of all.
ResponderEliminarIt was quite a sunny day and Andrew was sitting alone on a bench near a shore looking at a picture reminiscing other times of life. He was waiting for a call from his sister, and between looking at the landscape thinking of the old good days and trying to suppress unpleasant memories of what had been a very long week, the phone finally rang.
A: Hey sis, what’s up? Anything new about him?
F: Why are you always so mean? - She said quite angry- He’s our father, don’t call him like that! By the way, where are you that you are not here with us in the hospital? You should worry a little bit more! After all he’s like this because of you!
She was calling not only to remind him what had happened but also to explain why it was his fault. Andrew’s pulse quickened at the very thought of this accusation, for it was neither fair nor true.
A: What are you talking about? You don’t know what had happened, and you don’t want to know. Our fight has nothing to do with him being in a coma now! If he is like that it is because of what he has done. He deserves that! But I’m not going to argue about this with you. Anyway, you’re right about one thing, I should be there with you, not for him, but for you.
F: Well at least you care for someone besides yourself! And how can you say that?! How can you sleep at night?! Don’t you think that you and your rude way of treating him had led him to where he is now? By the way, what do you mean by “what he has done”?
A: Don’t be so hard on me; you know I care for you! And no, I don’t think so. He is like that because he couldn’t manage the situation. And believe me, you really don’t want to know.
F: Yeah, I know, sorry about that, but I don’t understand a word you are saying, please explain it to me! What are you trying to let me know?
A: Are you sure you want to know? If I tell you there’s no turning back.
F: Yes, please! You are driving me crazy! You say it’s his fault, and I don’t get your point! Come on, stop messing around and tell me, because I’m running out of patience!
A: Ok sis, chill out. Let me go there and I’ll explain to you. I’m on my way.
On his way to the hospital he realized it was almost twilight and the sky was turning blood –red. Looking at the road, Andrew felt a breath of melancholy. He wished the minute hand of the clock could be rewound. He and his father were so close before that critical day.
Several minutes later, he arrived at the hospital, and there was his sister, waiting for him, quite impatient. He confronted her, feeling bad, like already knowing what was about to happen.
F: There you are! Come on, Tell me!
Andrew was about to tell her sister the truth when the doctor showed up.
D: Are you Mr. Bryant’s relatives?
A: Yes, doctor. I’m his son and she is my sister. What happened?
D: He has just passed away. I’m really sorry.
Florencia burst into tears and Andrew hug her trying to calm her down.
F: Please Andrew; tell me this is not happening to us. Tell me we have not turned into fatherless.
D: If I were you guys, I would get into the room to say goodbye to him. Just take your time.
A: Thank doctor; we’ll go whenever she is ready.
F: This wouldn’t have happened if you had treated him in a good way. This is your entire fault. I hate you!
A: You don’t know what you are saying; you don’t know what he did. I will explain everything to you if you control yourself. But first, let’s go say goodbye to our father.
Both hug each other and got into the room.
ok Marina
EliminarWho is Larry Gilbert?
ResponderEliminarIt was quite a sunny day and Andrew was sitting in his house looking at a picture reminiscing other times of life. He was waiting for a call from his sister, and thinking of the good old days and trying to suppress unpleasant memories of what had been a very long week, the phone finally rang.
A: Hi, what’s up? Anything new about him?
F: Why are you always so mean? - She said quite angry- He’s our father, don’t call him like that! By the way, where are you that you are not here with us in the hospital? You should worry a little bit more! After all he’s like this because of you!
She was calling not only to remind him what had happened but also to make him say why it was his fault. Andrew’s pulse quickened at the very thought of this accusation, for it was neither fair nor true.
A: What are you talking about? You don’t know what happened, and you don’t want to know. Our fight has nothing to do with him being in a coma now! If he is like that it is because of what he has done. Anyway, you’re right about one thing, I should be there with you, not for him, but for you.
F: Well at least you care for someone besides yourself! And how can you say that? Don’t you think that you and your rude way of treating him had led him to where he is now? By the way, what do you mean by “what he has done”?
A: Don’t be so hard on me; you know I care for you! And no, I don’t think so. He is like that because he couldn’t manage the situation. And believe me, you really don’t want to know.
F: Yeah, I know, sorry about that, but I don’t understand a word you are saying, please explain it to me! What are you trying to let me know?
A: Are you sure you want to know? If I tell you there’s no turning back.
F: Yes, please! You are driving me crazy! Stop messing around and tell me, because I’m running out of patience!
A: Ok, chill out. I´ll tell you if you pull yourself together. I’m on my way.
On his way to the hospital he realized it was almost twilight and the sky was turning blood –red. Looking at the road, Andrew felt a breath of melancholy. He and his father were so close before that critical day. If only he hadn´t messed up like that, he wouldn´t be in a hospital right now!!! - Andrew thought to himself -. He finally reached the hospital ready to confront his sister, but once he entered the lobby, he could see her… And Lila, their younger sister!!!
F: I´ve phoned Lila because she has the right to know about this, too!!!
L: If I found out that you´ve done this on purpose, I would kill you Andrew!!! I swear to God!!!
A: Whoa slow down. You’d better sit… Both of you – He said, while trying to calm them down – Well, if you are so sure, here it goes. I caught him cheating on us! He has another whole family! A wife, two daughters, and even a dog! Can you believe it?! That’s why he and I had a fight, and he couldn’t handle it. He deceived us! He’s a complete liar!
The sisters were petrified. They could not believe what they were hearing; until they finally began to react.
F: What?
L: That´s not true!!!
A: Ok, if you don´t believe me, go to 2435, Park Street, ask for Larry Gilbert and see what they tell you!!!
After saying this, Andrew could feel the coldest tears rolling on his cheeks. But he whipped them away quickly so as not to show the slightest sign of weakness in front of his sisters, and with the hopes that one day, his whole family could see who the real Larry Gilbert is.
Task achieved!
EliminarThe worst betrayal of all.
ResponderEliminarIt was quite a sunny day and Andrew was sitting alone on a bench near a shore looking at a picture reminiscing other times of life. He was waiting for a call from his sister, and between looking at the landscape thinking of the old good days and trying to suppress unpleasant memories of what had been a very long week, the phone finally rang.
A: Hey sis, what’s up? Anything new about him?
F: Why are you always so mean? - She said quite angry- He’s our father, don’t call him like that! By the way, where are you that you are not here with us in the hospital? If I were you, I would be worry about him. After all he’s like this because of you!
She was calling not only to remind him what had happened but also to explain why it was his fault. Andrew’s pulse quickened at the very thought of this accusation, for it was neither fair nor true.
A: What are you talking about? You don’t know what had happened, and you don’t want to know. If you had been in my situation, you would have reacted in the same way as I did. Our fight has nothing to do with him being in a coma now! If he is like that it is because of what he has done. He deserves that! But I’m not going to argue about this with you. Anyway, you’re right about one thing, I should be there with you, not for him, but for you.
F: Well at least you care for someone besides yourself! And how can you say that?! How can you sleep at night?! Don’t you think that you and your rude way of treating him had led him to where he is now? By the way, what do you mean by “what he has done”?
A: Don’t be so hard on me; you know I care for you! And no, I don’t think so. He is like that because he couldn’t manage the situation. And believe me; you really don’t want to know.
F: Yeah, I know, sorry about that, but I don’t understand a word you are saying, please explain it to me! What are you trying to let me know?
A: Are you sure you want to know? If I tell you, there will be no turning back.
ResponderEliminarF: Yes, please! You are driving me crazy! You say it’s his fault, and I don’t get your point! Come on, stop messing around and tell me, because I’m running out of patience!
A: Ok sis, chill out. Let me go there and I’ll explain to you. I’m on my way.
On his way to the hospital he realized it was almost twilight and the sky was turning blood –red. Looking at the road, Andrew felt a breath of melancholy. He wished the minute hand of the clock could be rewound. He and his father were so close before that critical day.
Several minutes later, he arrived at the hospital, and there was his sister, waiting for him, quite impatient. He confronted her, feeling bad, like already knowing what was about to happen.
F: There you are! Come on, Tell me!
A: whoa whoa sis, slow down. You’d better sit – He said, while trying to calm her down – Well, if you are so sure, here it goes.
You wanted me to explain why I treated him like this and it’s because I’ve found out something he has done. I didn’t want you to know‘cause I know how much you care for him and it would devastate you. But you insisted, so you have to know that I caught him cheating on us! In fact, he has another whole family! A wife, two daughters, and even a dog! Can you believe it?! That’s why he and I had a fight, and he couldn’t handle it. Now you understand why I say he deserves that? He deceived us! He’s is complete liar!
Her sister couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She was astonished. She only stood there, sensing a deep anguish, bursting into tears. All of a sudden, a nurse approached and said to them:
N: I´m sorry. We did everything to save his life. Your father passed away.
As soon as they heard the bad news, the boy felt a deep pain in his heart and fell down. By the end of the day, Andrew and his father were buried by the young girl who now felt as lonely as a red rose in a winter garden.
Oh my gosh!!! What a tragic end!!
EliminarDid you use the three if clauses required?
The worst betrayal of all.
ResponderEliminarIt was quite a sunny day and Andrew was sitting alone on a bench near a shore looking at a picture reminiscing other times of life. He was waiting for a call from his sister, and between looking at the landscape thinking of the old good days and trying to suppress unpleasant memories of what had been a very long week, the phone finally rang.
A: Hey sis, what’s up? Anything new about him?
F: Why are you always so mean? - She said quite angry- He’s our father, don’t call him like that! By the way, where are you that you are not here with us in the hospital? You should worry a little bit more! After all he’s like this because of you!
She was calling not only to remind him what had happened but also to explain why it was his fault. Andrew’s pulse quickened at the very thought of this accusation, for it was neither fair nor true.
A: What are you talking about? You don’t know what had happened, and you don’t want to know. Our fight has nothing to do with him being in a coma now! If he is like that it is because of what he has done. He deserves that! But I’m not going to argue about this with you. Anyway, you’re right about one thing, I should be there with you, not for him, but for you.
F: Well at least you care for someone besides yourself! And how can you say that?! How can you sleep at night?! Don’t you think that you and your rude way of treating him had led him to where he is now? By the way, what do you mean by “what he has done”?
A: Don’t be so hard on me; you know I care for you! And no, I don’t think so. He is like that because he couldn’t manage the situation. And believe me, you really don’t want to know.
F: Yeah, I know, sorry about that, but I don’t understand a word you are saying, please explain it to me! What are you trying to let me know?
A: Are you sure you want to know? If I tell you there’s no turning back.
F: Yes, please! You are driving me crazy! You say it’s his fault, and I don’t get your point! Come on, stop messing around and tell me, because I’m running out of patience!
A: Ok sis, chill out. Let me go there and I’ll explain to you. I’m on my way.
On his way to the hospital he realized it was almost twilight and the sky was turning blood –red. Looking at the road, Andrew felt a breath of melancholy. He wished the minute hand of the clock could be rewound. He and his father were so close before that critical day.
Several minutes later, he arrived at the hospital, and there was his sister, waiting for him, quite impatient. He confronted her, feeling bad, like already knowing what was about to happen.
F: There you are! Come on, Tell me!
ResponderEliminarA: whoa whoa sis, slow down. You’d better sit – He said, while trying to calm her down – Well, if you are so sure, here it goes.
You wanted me to explain why I treated him like this and it’s because I’ve found out something he has done. I didn’t want you to know‘cause I know how much you care for him and it would devastate you. But you insisted, so you have to know that I caught him cheating on us! In fact, he has another whole family! A wife, two daughters, and even a dog! Can you believe it?! That’s why he and I had a fight, and he couldn’t handle it. Now you understand why I say he deserves that? He deceived us! He’s is complete liar!
Her sister couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She was astonished. She only stood there, sensing a deep anguish, bursting into tears.They stood there and hugging each other.
Ten minutes later the doctor opened the door to explain them their father`s evolution. The doctor told them that if their father calm himself down, he`d be better. The two brothers were praying for his father`s recovery when a woman approached them. She introduced herself as their father`s legitimate wife. They were shocked.
ResponderEliminarWoman: Hi Andrew! Hi Florence! I wanted to know how your father is, that`s why I`m here. Is he ok?
F: How do you know my name? Don`t be so insolent! You come here when my father is dying, pretending to be his wife and that everything is ok. You destroyed a family. Are you conscious of that, “legitimate wife?
A: Please sister, this is not a solution. We need to be together in this problem. Please Ms. Johnson we want to be alone!
F: Andrew! Did you know this woman? How do you know his name? Tell me you didn`t know her, please!
A: I knew her because I had seen her picture in father`s wallet. Nothing else! Her name is not important!
Women: I don`t want to cause problems. I`m his wife and you have to accept this. When I met him, he was divorced, but I knew that he had kids. What he never told me was their kinds were so rude.
F: Shut up! My parents were not divorced. My mother abandoned him when she knew the truth. I regret to inform you that he has lied you.
Woman: “No! You`re lying!”
A: My father was always married to my mother. I got to know about you because of that picture. We all are victims of that man. I`ll never forgive him because he lied us in our faces!”
F: Don`t say that, please!
A: He won`t die without telling me the real story! I promise it!
Woman: This cannot be happen! I`ll gave him my best years and a beautiful daughter. What for?
A: WHAT?
ResponderEliminarF: A daughter?
Woman: Yes guys! You have a sister. She is 16 years old. You will love her. If your father was fine, we would live all together. (Second conditional)
F: I want to talk with my father. This is joke or what?
All of them entered the room. The man seemed to be very weak. He just opened his eyes and smiled.
Father: My family...
A: Your legitimate wife is here. Don’t you think it`s time to tell us the true”?
Father: let me explain how everything came about!
Woman: I love you and I`ll forgive you! You had your reasons! Don`t say anything!
F: come on father! You need to calm down. If you are relaxed, you will be better! (1st conditional)
Father: I`m sorry”
After those words, father closed his eyes. He couldn`t bear the situation. Immediately the siblings and the woman embraced each other. Tears were falling from their eyes. They were devastated.
A: I`m a stupid! If I hadn`t been so arrogant, I would have forgiven him! (Third conditional). Now he has gone and I couldn`t say him how much I need him.
Andrew sat in a corner, crying disconsolately. His father passed away without his forgiveness.
Task achieved!!! good job.
EliminarAfter a couple of minutes, a nurse rushed to see their father. The mysterious woman didn’t say a word, but stayed with the man and cried until she felt asleep. Florencia and Andres, who were sitting in the waiting room, didn’t understand the situation so they decided to talk with the nurse.
ResponderEliminarF: Excuse me, do I know you? Why were you crying? I haven’t seen you in my entire life, I can’t find the connection between you and my father.
N: I’m sorry. I know you are confused, but let me introduce myself. My name is Libby and I’m your father’s wife.
F: What? Did you know about our existence and you stay with him anyway? This is ridiculous! Please, go away!
N: Let me explain! This is new for me too, he told me about you last week. If I had known about this situation, I would have told you the truth. I swear! Even though I’m mad with him, I can’t leave him all alone. Please, understand me.
A: Why should we do that? Who understands us? We lived in a lie our entire life! You don’t deserve our respect! Not even our father. If he awoke from coma, I would ask him to disappear from our lives. My father and you don’t know anything about our pain.
N: Of course I understand you. This is too complicated for all of us. My daughters are in pain too. Try to see the whole picture, please. We are all suffering because his decisions, but we have to be strong for him. Just think about it. If you excuse me, I need to talk with my daughters because they should know about this recent news. Now, you know the entire truth. Contact me if you need to talk.
Unfortunately, their father died the next morning and Florencia and Andres couldn’t forget that betrayal. They moved to their grandmother’s house, leaving behind all the hurtful memories
Task achieved. Well done!
EliminarThe worst betrayal of all.
ResponderEliminarIt was quite a sunny day and Andrew was sitting alone on a bench near a shore looking at a picture reminiscing other times of life. He was waiting for a call from his sister, and between looking at the landscape thinking of the old good days and trying to suppress unpleasant memories of what had been a very long week, the phone finally rang.
A: Hey sis, what’s up? Anything new about him?
F: Why are you always so mean? - She said quite angry- He’s our father, don’t call him like that! By the way, where are you that you are not here with us in the hospital? You should worry a little bit more! After all he’s like this because of you!
She was calling not only to remind him what had happened but also to explain why it was his fault. Andrew’s pulse quickened at the very thought of this accusation, for it was neither fair nor true.
A: What are you talking about? You don’t know what had happened, and you don’t want to know. Our fight has nothing to do with him being in a coma now! If he is like that it is because of what he has done. He deserves that! But I’m not going to argue about this with you. Anyway, you’re right about one thing, I should be there with you, not for him, but for you.
F: Well at least you care for someone besides yourself! And how can you say that?! How can you sleep at night?! Don’t you think that you and your rude way of treating him had led him to where he is now? By the way, what do you mean by “what he has done”?
A: Don’t be so hard on me; you know I care for you! And no, I don’t think so. He is like that because he couldn’t manage the situation. And believe me, you really don’t want to know.
F: Yeah, I know, sorry about that, but I don’t understand a word you are saying, please explain it to me! What are you trying to let me know?
A: Are you sure you want to know? If I tell you there’s no turning back.
F: Yes, please! You are driving me crazy! You say it’s his fault, and I don’t get your point! Come on, stop messing around and tell me, because I’m running out of patience!
A: Ok sis, chill out. Let me go there and I’ll explain to you. I’m on my way.
On his way to the hospital he realized it was almost twilight and the sky was turning blood –red. Looking at the road, Andrew felt a breath of melancholy. He wished the minute hand of the clock could be rewound. He and his father were so close before that critical day.
Several minutes later, he arrived at the hospital, and there was his sister, waiting for him, quite impatient. He confronted her, feeling bad, like already knowing what was about to happen.
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ResponderEliminarF: There you are! Come on, Tell me!
ResponderEliminarA: whoa whoa sis, slow down. You’d better sit – He said, while trying to calm her down – Well, if you are so sure, here it goes.
You wanted me to explain why I treated him like this and it’s because I’ve found out something he has done. I didn’t want you to know ‘cause I know how much you care for him and it would devastate you. But you insisted, so you have to know that I caught him cheating on us! In fact, he has another whole family! A wife, two daughters, and even a dog! Can you believe it?! That’s why he and I had a fight, and he couldn’t handle it. Now you understand why I say he deserves that? He deceived us! He’s is complete liar!
Her sister couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She was astonished. She only stood there, sensing a deep anguish, bursting into tears. “If I had known it, I wouldn’t have come to look after him.” She cried. While trying to consolate her, a woman stood in front of them and said, “Sorry, I am looking for room number 204, do you know where it is?
“Yes, said Andrew. It’s right there, but, why? Who are you looking for?, he asked nervously.
“Well, I’m looking for my husband who had suffered a heart attack. He’s Mr. Smith.
“ She replayed.
“Smith? what are you doing here, bitch?” Flora exclaimed hysterically.
“Sorry? Who are you ill-mannered girl? The woman replayed angrily.
“am I ill-mannered for telling you the truth? If you knew who we are, you would understand me. Flora said.
“and who are you?”. The woman replayed nervously.
“Do you wanna know who we are?, Andrew said in a rude way. “I’m Andrew and she is my sister Flora. And our father is Mr. Smith.
“so, if you’re his offspring, he has another family” she said and fainted.
Lying on the floor was the woman when Andrew and his sister decided to leave the Hospital and start a new life, away from all lies.
Good job. Task achieved.
EliminarHers sister couldn't believe what she was hearing. She was astonished. She only stood there, sensing a deep anguish, bursting into tears. But that only lasted a minute, until a middle-aged woman appeared shouting:
ResponderEliminar"Where's Charles? Where's Charles!? My sweet love, you can't be dying"
The two siblings realized who she was, and Flora told her:
"How do you dare to come here? Get out right now or I'll call the police".
Woman: "If I were you, I wouldn't be so rude(Type 2). And, why do you treat me like that? Who are you?".
F: "Who am I? I'm Charles' daughter and he's my brother. You must be her lover,and you have nothing to do here!"
W: "What!? I'm his wife and I don't know who you're".
A: "He cheated on us, and formed another family with you"
W: "He told me he was divorced! If I had known he has a family, I wouldn't have married him!(Type 3).
A: "But he lied! He lied to all of us."
W: "Oh my God! If he survives, I will kill him with my hands!(Type 1)."
A nurse arrived at the waiting room, she told them Charles had passed away.
Very good Florencia. Task achieved!
EliminarHi everybody!! Here is the story rewrited.
ResponderEliminar(…)On his way to the hospital he realized it was almost twilight and the sky was turning blood –red. Looking at the road, Andrew felt a breath of melancholy. He wished the minute hand of the clock could be rewound. He and his father were so close before that critical day.
After phoning Andrew, Flora came back to his sit in the waiting room. Next to her, there was a woman in her forties. Once the doctor got out the room where Flora`s father was, Flora asked:
F: “How is my father? Is he going to get over?”
As soon as the woman heard Flora, she interrupted.
W: “Your father? No, you are wrong. The man who is there is my husband.”
F: “No, it`s impossible. He`s my father.”
W: "No, no... I would know if he had a daughter."
When Andrew arrived at the hospital, he saw his sister, who was arguing with that woman, his father`s wife.
A: “What`s happening here?”
F: “I don`t know. This woman says she is our father`s wife. She`s crazy!”
W: “I`m not crazy. He`s my husband!”
A: “Yes sis, she is! That`s what I didn`t want to tell you.”
Andrew took Flora outside so that he could calm her down and explain her that confusing situation.
A: “Sadly, I have to tell you that what that woman said is true. Now, I think you understand why I treated our father badly. That`s because I caught him cheating on us! He has another whole family! A wife, two daughters, and even a dog! Can you believe it?! That’s why he and I had a fight. And I know he wouldn’t be like this, if I had managed the situation better, but I couldn`t. Now you understand why I say he deserves that? He deceived us! He’s is complete liar! Believe me, I know it may sound impossible, but it`s true, sis. Anyway, I would have told it, if I hadn`t had this fight.”
Her sister couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She was astonished. She only stood there, sensing a deep anguish, bursting into tears.
Task achieved Luisina. Good job!
EliminarHer sister couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She was astonished. She only stood there, sensing a deep anguish, bursting into tears.
ResponderEliminarIn that precise moment, the doctor reached them, and apologising,gave them the bad news, their father was dead and they hadn't even have the opportunity to say goodbye.
After hearing those terrible words from the doctor, Andres felt terrible: " If I hadn't been so arrogant, I could have arrange things with my father before, and now he is gone", oh my God!! breaking into tears.
Florencia was hysterical, it was too much information to receive in just a few minutes. She could not believe what had just happened. She started yeling at the doctor: " If you took really care of him, he would be here now with us, it is your fault, you didn't pay attention to him" and Andres caught her and tried to calm her down.
The doctor expressed his feeling of sorrow for them and said: " If I can help in anyway, I would do it without thinking! I'm really sorry for your lost".
The doctor went away, and the siblings stood there, hugging and giving comfort to each other after the terrible moment they had just experienced.
Task achieved Virginia. Good.
EliminarAndrew stood and looked though the window, looking at a family that was sitting in the hospital’s garden.
ResponderEliminarA couple of minutes later, she stood up and started asking after the new family, how they looked like, and how nice people they were. But her brother could not give her convincing answer. “Even if I had had the opportunity to meet them, I probably wouldn’t have forgiven our dad and accepted them as my family. I am sorry Flo, I cannot say anymore”
Absolutely shocked, she started running through the hospital’s corridor and got into her dad’s room.
“where are you going, sis??? “ brother said.
“unless I hear from him, I’ll go on with my life as before. I can’t believe you!” she murmured while she entered the room.
“ Daddy? Daddy? Please Daddy, I need to know something before you go!!! Why did you lie to us, your family, your own blood… we don’t deserve this dad!”
Her dad listened to her, and after taking a deep breath he said:
“I am sorry, my dear. Had I known I was going to die, I would have told you this before…. “ If these are my last words, please forgive me daughter. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but it was my life, I have always been an arrogant and selfish man. Please forgive me… “
And so those were his last words. Florencia sat next to him, crying and crying, wondering how she could manage these feelings…
...
ResponderEliminarOn his way to the hospital he realized it was almost twilight and the sky was turning blood –red. Looking at the road, Andrew felt a breath of melancholy. He wished the minute hand of the clock could be rewound. He and his father were so close before that critical day.
Several minutes later, he arrived at the hospital, and there was his sister, waiting for him, quite impatient. He confronted her, feeling bad, like already knowing what was about to happen.
F: Here you are! I´ve missed you so much! Why didn´t you come earlier! I was so worried!
A: (hugging her) Calm down, sis. I´m already here, I won´t let you alone!
F: Why are you so mad with Dad? Please tell me, he is in the hospital after fighting with you.
A: Believe me sis, it´s better to leave things the way they are. I don´t want to upset you.
F: (crying) If you don´t tell me now, I will drive crazy!
A: Ok, ok. I will tell you what happened. Please sit down…
In that moment a young girl and a woman entered the hospital´s waiting room. So Andrew shut up.
Woman: Good evening. Oh poor girl! What has happened to you! You look devastated!. Exclaimed the woman after seeing Florencia´s expression.
F: I am devastated! My dad is in a coma… he won´t pass the night!
W: What terrible news! In which room is your dad darling? Maybe he is near my husband!
Andrew realizing what was about to happen began to sweat.
F: He is in room 102!
W: What a coincidence… my husband is in the same room. I brought my daughter to see him. What is your Dad´s name?
F: It´s George, George Smith.
W: Oh my gosh!! He is my husband!! Who… what are you doing here?
A: We are his real family! He is our Dad!
F: Andrew, did you know about this?
A: If I knew she was going to come here, I would tell you before. I´m sorry.
F: He has lied to all of us!
W: He told me he was divorced. I would have never married him If I had known he was a liar! Where is your mum?
A: (hugging his sister) She has passed away 3 years ago.
W: WHAT? They weren´t divorced?
F: Of course not!!
The poor woman fell in the floor with his hands on her heart and breathing with difficulty. Andrew and Florencia approached her immediately and she only managed to say:
W: take care of my daughter, she has nothing to do with it, please, promise me that!
A: We will, I promise we won´t let her alone.
The woman closed her eyes and died on the floor.
Her sister couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She was astonished. She only stood there, sensing a deep anguish, bursting into tears.
ResponderEliminarAfter hearing this horrible news, the doctor rushed to the room where their father was. Flo and Andrew did not understand anything that was going on inside. Until a nurse came out to updeted them.
Nurse: "If you hadn't been so bussy in other things, you would have noticed that your father has been sick for years.(type 3) But now is not the time to give a long speach, you should be worried about him. Now, I know that this was because of a heart attack but we think that something else is going on in his brain. Do you remember any headache, changes on his mood or saying nonsens things?"
A: "He usually had very bad headaches"
F: "I remember that after he came back from his job he said he found a bear, I didn't pay atention to that because it was quite late and maybe he was just exhausted."
Nurse:" Ok, that could help. I don't want to freak you out but there is a possibility that your father has a brain tumor. We haven't confirmed it yet, but chances are high"
The sibling were surprised.
F: "WHAT!? Oh, this would't happen if I payed atention to what he was saying that night. (type 2) Lamenting.
A:" Oh my God, this is not happening, isn't it? Please tell me this is a joke!" Bursting into tears.
Nurse: "I wish. I'm truly sorry. But I have some good news. The doctor is now opperating on his brain. If he success, your father may wake up (type 1)"
A: "Did you hear that sis! He may wake up after surgery!"
F:"Oh, thank you God! Thank you, thank you!"
Both hug eachother, forgetting about everything they've been through.
Her sister couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She was astonished. She only stood there, sensing a deep anguish, bursting into tears.
ResponderEliminarBut all of a sudden, a very rich woman showed up at the hospital, crying out loud.
Rich Woman: Oh God, why my Henry? I can't believe this is happening to you. If only you had taken care of yourself better, you wouldn't be like this! My poor Henry!
Flora was still astonished, but she could't help overhearing what the lady had just said. So she approached the woman and asked.
F: I'm sorry, but, did you just say "my Henry"? That's our father you know. Who are you?
RW: You are Henry's children? Ohh, he told me everything about you, it a pleasure to finally meet you! I'm his wife.
A: What?! Are you kiddin me? you knew about us? You knew his was cheating on our mum but you still marreid him? How could you? If I were you madam, I would just go away, and leave us alone.
RW: Ohh no my dear, I can't do that!I promissed him I will take care of you! But, if you don't want my help, I'll understand and I'll leave. Just know, that you will inherit part of my fortune anyway. I cannot break my promisse to Henry.
F: Andrew, wait! I know this is not what you want, but think about it. We do need some money. We have nothing at all!
Several minutes the sibling had discussed what to do, and they finally decided to give the woman a chance. After all, she could have moved on, but there she was, willing to embrace the two of them with open arms.
Hi everyone! This is my rewriting of the story:
ResponderEliminar(...) A: whoa whoa sis, slow down. You’d better sit – He said, while trying to calm her down – Well, if you are so sure, here it goes.
You wanted me to explain why I treated him like this and it’s because I’ve found out something he has done. I didn’t want you to know ‘cause I know how much you care for him and it would devastate you.
F: Hold on a second. Where’s mum? Didn’t she come with you? She must be here!
A: Sis, listen. I will only tell you what occurred with dad if you promise me you won’t tell mum. She must never know anything of what I’m going to tell you. Right?
F: You’re scaring me. Why don’t you tell me what happened at once, please?!
Andrew was about to tell her sister the truth, when he saw his mother running towards them, waving her arms desperately.
M: Oh my God, here you are my children. Why didn’t you pick me up to come here? Are you insane?! If Doctor Byrnes hadn’t called me, I wouldn’t have become acquainted with the state of your father’s health! (TYPE 3)
A: Mum, I think you shouldn’t be here. If I were you, I would return home. (TYPE 2)
M: Andrew! How do you dare to tell me such a thing? I’m his wife! I’m supposed to be the first person to be told about whatever happens to my husband! I feel there’s something wrong here. My son, I beg you explain me what is going on!
A: No mum, I can’t. Why don’t you go for a cup of coffee?
M: No way! I want to know everything. Now! What happened to poor dad that left him in a coma? Please son, tell me what you know. I can’t stand this situation any more.
A: Ok mum. You win. I will tell you the whole truth. But promise me that if you suffer because of what you hear, you won’t blame me later on. (TYPE 1) Remember that I wanted to protect both of you, but it were you who insisted, so now you have to know that I caught him cheating on us! In fact, he has another whole family! A wife, two daughters, and even a dog! Can you believe it?! That’s why he and I had a fight, and he couldn’t handle it. He deceived us! He’s is complete liar!
Her mother and her sister couldn’t believe what they were hearing. They were astonished. They only stood there, sensing a deep anguish, bursting into tears.